Tuesday, November 27, 2012

The Sixth Rant of Christmas

Call me the Grinch. Call me Scrooge. I'm fine with it. Just don't call me a Christmas decoration over-achiever, because I'm not. While I take pride in my annual exterior light display, while I too painstakingly string the lights on our family Christmas tree, I refuse to decorate my house this early. That's just obnoxious.

Good grief!
On Saturday night, friends of ours had us over for a dinner party. Upon pulling up to their house, I immediately became annoyed. Their front yard was more lit up than Snoopy's doghouse. Lights in the bushes, strung up the trees, and a row of candles lining the flower bed. A lovely display. But too much, too soon. It didn't stop there. We entered the house to find all of their Christmas knick-knacks - Santas, snowmen, even the stockings hung by the chimney with care. Because my friends have a sense of humor, I immediately gave them a hard time about it.

"First of all, you're making me look bad," I said. "Second, have you seen a calender? There's still a week left in November."


It's a fact. December starts on Saturday. And while I know Thanksgiving weekend is traditionally when many people - myself included - decorate, it just came too early for me to get right into the Christmas spirit. Thanksgiving fell on the earliest possible date it could - the 22nd. That means we have an extra week to look at your annoyingly festive Christmas lights because you decided to show off and get it done already. What a treat for all of us.

This hasn't even happened yet.
I love Christmas. 'Tis the season to be jolly, after all. I deck my halls with the best of them. But now I feel like Johnny-come-lately. Worse, I will be staring at Christmas lights far longer than necessary. Even the obnoxiously gaudy Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree won't be lit until Wednesday. Shouldn't THAT tell you something?

I congratulate you, friends and neighbors, for being ahead of the curve. For getting it done early. For being the first on the block to make your yuletide gay.  We haven't even digested our turkey and you're already making us nauseous with Christmas lights. Well done.

Last year, I wrote FIVE rants of Christmas. So this post picks up where I left off. The first one, about children asking for iPads for Christmas, is here. The next three, where I detail my issues with some classic Christmas shows and songs, are here. And the fifth one, which also involves Christmas lights, is here

18 comments:

  1. We put out tree up the w eek before Thanksgiving because the kids wanted it. No big deal. We usually put it up the Sunday if thanksgiving weekend. You do know that this is the earliest that they holiday can be right? Buck up Scrooge.

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    1. If you actually read the post, you would have seen I wrote that. Pay attention. Nice to see your kids run your house. Maybe you should change the name of your blog because you're obviously not in charge.

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    2. That's why there is a question mark... Maybe you should read MY blog sometimes. I can't pay attention anymore. My kids won't let me.

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    3. Your blog is the first thing I check every morning... after my fantasy football team. (We're not fighting, people. We're friends.)

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    4. You two sound like an old married couple.

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    5. We're supposed to READ the posts? Is that a new rule?

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  2. Okay now, wait just a minute. Thanksgiving weekend is the perfect time to decorate because of the time off that many people have. I'd much rather that people stay close to home, decorating like Clark Griswold on energy drinks, than trample people in an effort to grab the best deals WalMart has to offer.

    I know this issue comes up every year, but I'm going to repeat myself anyway: I love that people put lights up - even the kooky stuff. It makes the waning light - which will only get wanier* through December 21st - easier to take. And before you get your Valentine's Boxers in a bunch - I think people should leave their lights up right through that Hallmark Holiday as well.

    * No, it's not a word. Just enjoy it.

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  3. Driving through town the other night I noticed LOTS of houses all lit up like, well, Christmas, already. My tree is up, at the suggestion of my gf and to the delight of my daughter, but if I lived in a house I would probably not have put lights up yet. If I lived in a house I *would* want to put up lights, just not in November.

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    1. My house will be lit up... Saturday. December 1st. Right now just seems early to me. I know Thanksgiving weekend makes it convenient. But it was so early this year. Too early. I'm not into it yet. Getting there...

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  4. Umm..you do realize we are only talking the difference of 2 days, right? Last year, Thanksgiving was on the 24th. Truly - for those of us who put the decorations up the weekend of Thanksgiving - the decorations are only out for about 30 days. I'm a die-hard Italian who was raised with several older Italian Signora's who INSISTED that Christmas decorations had to be down and put away before the ball dropped on New Year's Eve. Especially the Mistletoe. :shivers: If you didn't, you risked the Gremlins coming out and running amok through the house FOR THE NEXT YEAR (which is why I still can't watch those movies)! Nana always said you'd be taking any bad luck from the old year into the new one. Course, this also could have been a clever ploy to ensure that my Nonno and Zios got all the decorations down in a timely manner. They didn't want to be one of THOSE families. :P

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    1. Oh, I realize that perfectly. And that I sound a little ridiculous. And as an Italian who keeps his tree up until Three Kings Day, I say bring on those Gremlins. ;-p

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  5. I've always felt the same way about the timing of Christmas decor. And I will never forget the ass pucker I pulled off in CVS when I nearly crapped my pants after finding myself face to face with SaNtA!!! (While shopping for HALLOWEEN COSTUMES NO LESS!!)

    However, after all the stress I put myslef through this Turkey day, all I wantedd to do was lay back in the recliner with my kids and fall asleep to the glow of a flickering Christmas tree. So, I caved. And I gotta admit, I'm loving it. I might just keep it up till V-day, just because I can ;)

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  6. Living in a cold climate (north of 49) I put up lights outside on a warm day so my hands don't freeze & I can see what I'm doing. Don't turn them on though until December. For sure and no tree inside until the 15th of December if it is a live one. :)

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  7. I literally stopped and gaped in shock when I saw Christmas stuff in the stores in August. And not the end of August - THE BEGINNING.

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  8. Just thinking about the whole decorating thing gives me a headache. I prefer to do it Thanksgiving weekend because I have time off then. We have A LOT, and frankly, after a few ornaments, my kids lose all interest in decorating our many trees, even their own, much less hauling the outside stuff out. Since we were traveling over Thanksgiving this year we may not be able to celebrate Christmas until I have time to decorate in the spring.

    It is gorgeous and festive once it's all up and the boxes are put away, it's lovely. It's a lot of effort so having it up longer seems like it would be a plus. But, for an OCD'er like myself, it's torture. After a couple days the fact that I can't dust or clean effectively where the decorations are starts to grate on me. By the time Boxing day rolls around I want to throw all of it into boxes, but we are epiphany people, so no go until then.

    The saving grace of it all, though, is that my family loves looking at every little thing. It is worth the effort for that.

    Loved your rant. I'm looking forward to #7.

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  9. Our Christmas tree went up Thanksgiving evening. Our oldest is now old enough to be totally and completely into the process so it made for a fun evening. That's where the decorating stopped for us. That being said, our neighbors literally hired a crew to come out and set up roof top lights and all the various blow up Santa's and such for their yard the day after Thanksgiving. Talk about the rest of the people on the street feeling like they are on the practice squad for lighting.

    Between excessive yard Christmas light madness and Black Friday I'm not sure our entire society isn't completely nuts! :)

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  10. My stuff went up the day after Thanksgiving. I definitely felt it was early, but considering my weekends in December are always stupid busy, I kept with my tradition!! I love having the house all decorated. It makes the place feel so cozy and festive! ps. like the new blog look. i have been reading in my reader for months and haven't seen it.

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